Longbeard Press, LLC

Chapter 12

Are Christians to Confess All Their Sins to All Church Members?

Mr. Warren says:

“It is only as we become open about our lives that we experience real fellowship.  . . . Darkness is used to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws.  But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.  Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility.  It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.  Why would anyone take such a risk?  Because it is the only way to be emotionally healthy.  The Bible says, ‘Make this your common practice:  Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.’  We only grow by taking risks, and the most difficult risk of all is to be honest with ourselves and with others.”  (Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life, p. 140)

But Scripture says:

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.  But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.'  And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”  (Matthew 18:15-17 NKJV)

“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.”  (Ephesians 5:11-12 NIV)

“He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”  (Proverbs 17:9 NIV)

“Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.”  (Proverbs 10:12 NIV)

            While Christians are exhorted in Scripture to confess their sins to one another, there are limits to be observed in confessing one’s sins.  Some persons try to gain celebrity status in the church by publicly ‘confessing’ all sorts of salacious and debauched deeds of their past.  It is within the sinful nature of men to desire to hear things that are shocking.  But this is not the purpose for which we are to confess our sins.

            Notice in the passage from the 18^th chapter of Matthew that Christians are instructed to maintain discrete confidentiality concerning their knowledge of a fellow Christian’s sins.  When a Christian sins against another believer, the believer is to confront the guilty party in private, and “tell him his fault between you and him alone.”  (Matthew 18:15 NKJV)  It is only when a person professing to be a Christian refuses to acknowledge the wrong that he has committed that his sin is to be revealed to others; first, to only several persons, to “two or three,” in an effort to persuade him to repent, and then, if that fails, his sin is to become public knowledge to the entire church, so that the church will understand the basis upon which this person is now going to be treated as a ‘Gentile’, which is another word for a non-believer or pagan or heathen.

            If such a discrete handling of an individual’s sin is required by God, why would God desire that the individual proclaim his sin to the entire church?  God realizes that it is humiliating and embarrassing to most people to have their “dirty laundry aired in public.”  Not only is it embarrassing to the individual, but also to his family.  As a consequence of this, other people in the community where the individual lives may gossip and slander this individual.  It may result in harm to his ability to be employed or to be accepted to positions of rank or privilege in the community.[1]  {See support for numbered citations in notes at end of chapter.} 

            The principle established in Matthew 18 is that a person’s confession of sin should be only as broad as the parties offended.  If a person sins against another person, he needs to confess his sin to that individual, not to the world.  However, if a person has committed a notorious offense against many, then his confession should be to the larger group.

            How does God deal with us about our sins?  He says, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”  (Isaiah 43:25 NIV)  If God does this for those he loves, should Christians not also follow his example and strive to see that their fellow Christians’ sins are blotted out and no longer remembered?  And if God desires to blot out his children’s sins, and remember them no more – who are we to attempt to remind others of our private failings and bring such matters out to the public?

            The Scripture tells us that the kind and loving thing, for Christians to do for each other, is to refuse to broadcast their fellow Christians’ failings.  “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”  (Proverbs 17:9 NIV)  If God does not want Christians to publicize their fellow-believers’ faults, why would he want the believer to publicize his own failings?  As a general rule, God desires that Christians’ sins be kept private.

            However, as we have seen, there are exceptions to every ‘general’ rule.  According to Matthew 18, those who are unrepentant for their sin fall into another category.  To be repentant for one’s sin is to seek forgiveness from the one you offended, and to strive to correct any harm done thereby.  Obviously, one must acknowledge, or ‘confess’, his sin in order to seek forgiveness for it.  But, again, this confession of sin extends only to the one against whom you sinned.  And the one who has been wronged is admonished by God to keep the matter private.

"If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."  (Matthew 5:23-24 NASV)

            Notice that Christ instructs the individual to go to the offended brother and seek reconciliation.  Christ does not say:  “If you remember that your brother has something against you, make a public confession of your sin.”  Christ’s admonition is to go to the offended individual, in order to be forgiven.  This assumes that confession and repentance of sin, to the individual you sinned against, is sufficient for forgiveness, and God will then accept your offering.

            From the days of the Old Testament church of the Israelites, the confession of sins used in public was a ‘general’ confession of sins, and not a series of individuals taking turns proclaiming their specific individual sins to the congregation.  For example:

"Then I said: 'O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you.  We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.' "  (Nehemiah 1:5-7 NIV)

            Most of the churches of our time, whether they are Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Episcopalian, or whatever, also utilize a ‘general’ confession of sins in their worship services.  This follows the Biblical example, and is appropriate (as opposed to having private individuals take turns confessing their private failings to the congregation).  Such general confessions typically include language to the effect that “we have sinned in thought, word and deed, by what we have done, and by what he have left undone.”  On this basis, when the congregation has acknowledged their sins in a general manner, they receive God’s gracious forgiveness.

            It should also be mentioned at this juncture that there is no place for gossip among Christians.  And what is gossip?  Gossip is telling people about the specific faults and failings of other individuals.  A gossip is one who confesses the sins of others to the public.  As Mr. Warren correctly points out:  “God hates gossip, especially when it is thinly disguised as a ‘prayer request’ for someone else.”[2]  If you become aware of specific sins of a fellow Christian, you are not supposed to disclose that to others, which includes bringing it up as a need for group prayer.  Pray for the individual yourself, but do not go around confessing his or her sins to others.  “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”  (Proverbs 17:9 NIV)

Conclusion of “Purpose Driven Life”:  “It is only as we become open about our lives that we experience real fellowship.  . . . Darkness is used to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws.  But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.  Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility.  It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.  Why would anyone take such a risk?  Because it is the only way to be emotionally healthy.”  (Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life, p. 140)  In other words, you need to “spill your guts” to everybody to be “emotionally healthy.”  That is, the more “open” you become, by confessing your sins to more people, the better Christian you will become.

Outworking of “Purpose Driven Life” Conclusion:  When someone confesses their sin, it affects not only how they are perceived, but reflects upon their spouse, their parents, and their children.  Sincere Christians will forgive the individual, but those wolves in sheep’s clothing will gossip, and will spread the news of the confession outside the church into the community of unbelievers, who, instead of desiring to forgive and forget, prefer to remember, to repeat it often, and to humiliate and degrade.  Confession of sin should extend only to those sinned against.  When this principle is not followed, all sorts of evil gossip and rumors are more likely to arise and bring division and discord to a church and a community.

Conclusion from Scripture:  Christians are required to confess their sins only to those whom they have offended.  When a Christian has been offended, he is not to tell everybody, but is to go in private to confront the offending party.  Only if the offending party is unrepentant and refuses to acknowledge his wrongdoing should the sin become more widely known, but only to two or three others.  This is so they can go with the offended party to the offender and reason with him to convince him that he is in the wrong and should repent.  If the offender admits he was wrong and apologizes and, makes restitution (if any is to be made), and agrees to refrain from such sinful acts in the future, then the news of his wrongdoing is to go no further.  This is the principle laid out in the 18^th chapter of Matthew, and supported by a number of other Scriptures.

Outworking of Scriptural Belief:  When Christians follow the principle of loving their fellow Christians, they seek to cover over their failings and faults and, instead, to focus upon their good qualities.  Christians are to love their fellow believers as much as they love themselves.  Christians should seek to see their fellow believers honored and respected for their contributions to their church and their community.  A husband should not want to publicize that his wife was promiscuous at some point in her life.  A mother should not want to publicize that her son stole something at some point in his life.  Neither should Christians want to embarrass their fellow believers by bringing up things that have been repented of and forgiven.  Christians demonstrate their love by following a policy of ‘covering over’ the failings of one another.  Unbelievers will refuse to become part of a church that ‘shoots its wounded’, instead of seeking to rehabilitate them and their reputations.

Memory Verses:

“He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”  (Proverbs 17:9 NIV)

 “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.”  (Proverbs 10:12 NIV)

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.  But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.'  And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”  (Matthew 18:15-17 NKJV)

[1] These benefits of gainful employment, as well as appointments to positions in government or the military, allow a Christian to fulfill his duties to provide for his family and to exercise Christian influence in his society.  Christians should be helping one another in these goals, instead of sabotaging one another.

Rick Warren & The Modern Church:  Purpose Driven Disaster; 155 pages; 6" x 9"; paperback; $9.99; available for purchase from Amazon.com.